The Distorted Desire to Belong

At the heart of our stories is the primal longing to belong. To be seen. To feel chosen. To matter.

So we craft identities and build belief systems that affirm our value. But often, those systems do so by excluding others.

• “My path is true.”
• “My way is better.”
• “We are chosen.”
• “They are lost.”

These aren’t just religious or cultural narratives—they are human ones. Shadows that begin in childhood, reinforced by systems that condition us to survive through hierarchy: good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, worthy vs. unworthy.

But what if our desire to be “special” in the eyes of God—or even in our healing work—is the very thing keeping us from experiencing the deeper love we claim to seek?

The Subtle Seduction of Spiritual Superiority (and Its Cost)

As we walk our healing path, another shadow often appears: spiritual pride.

We begin to see truths others may not yet perceive. We feel energies, remember ancestral wisdom, break free from the matrix—and suddenly, ego returns through the back door:

• “I’m more awake.”
• “They’re still operating from fear.”
• “I’ve transcended that story.”

This subtle seduction often leads to another, more tangible shadow: the commercialization of supposed enlightenment. When “I’m more awake” becomes a selling point, it feeds into systems that promise exclusive access to “higher truths” or “accelerated healing” for a price. These narratives of specialness don’t just separate us spiritually; they create a hierarchy of worth that benefits the “enlightened” few financially, preying on our innate desire for belonging and transformation.

We forget that true awareness humbles us. That wisdom isn’t in knowing more—but in loving more, judging less, and living from presence, not performance.

Navigating the Path: Integrity in the Industry

As someone who works within the very industry that sometimes falls prey to these shadows, I understand the delicate balance. Like many, I desire to provide a living for myself, my family, and my community through offering services and insights that genuinely help. The challenge isn’t the act of exchange itself, but ensuring that integrity and authentic service remain paramount over inflated claims or egoic pursuits.

It means constantly asking: Am I truly serving the highest good, or am I subtly reinforcing a narrative of my own specialness for commercial or personal gain? This self-inquiry is crucial for all of us who share knowledge or offer healing. It’s about building a bridge between honest intention and honest delivery, ensuring that our offerings always point back to the inherent wisdom within each individual, rather than creating dependency on an external “guru.”

Wisdom from the Elders: The Path of Purification

This commitment to integrity echoes a profound teaching I received. During a sacred journey, I sat with Mamo Lorenzo, an elder of the Arhuaco Indigenous people from the Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta in Colombia. His presence was one of deep humility and profound wisdom.

He shared a truth so simple, yet so powerful: that we have cleaning to do within our thoughts and feelings. He emphasized that it is this internal purification – of our own energetic space – that will truly heal humanity and all on this living planet. Not by forcing change on the physical realm, not by external revolutions, but by purification of our energy. And in turn, this purification will inevitably transform our realities, our relationships, and the world around us.

This is the true work. It shifts us from seeking external validation or claiming superior knowledge, to deeply engaging with our own inner landscape. It’s a path that asks for radical self-honesty and a willingness to confront our own shadows, rather than project them onto others or hide behind a veneer of enlightenment.

Truth Is Not an Idea—It’s a Way of Being

We can talk about compassion, write about love, speak of oneness, and still reject those who trigger our discomfort.
We can share quotes about unconditional love while holding onto unforgiveness, resentment, and the need to be right.

True compassion doesn’t just extend to those who mirror our values. It reaches into the messy, uncomfortable, even contradictory spaces of humanity.
Unconditional love isn’t theoretical—it’s a daily practice of holding both light and shadow with equal grace.
Truth isn’t about opinion—it’s about alignment.

Alignment with the heart.
With the Earth.
With the awareness that no being is beyond redemption—and no being is more inherently worthy than another.

The Real Work: Integration Over Illusion

The deeper we go on our path, the more we’re asked to release the identity of the “healer,” the “teacher,” the “awakener”—and just be.

To stop hiding behind roles or righteousness, and instead embody the very love we speak of.
To hold space for our own contradictions without shame, and for others’ wounds without judgment.

The shadow separates. Love restores.

But to live in love, we must first confront what we’ve made more important than love:

• The need to be right
• The need to be seen a certain way
• The fear of being ordinary
• The discomfort of being wrong
• The avoidance of pain
• The belief that love must be earned or proven

The Invitation: Embracing Humility

This is not a call to perfection.
It is a call to presence.

To be real.
To be honest.
To recognize that we are all still becoming.

You are not more divine because of your knowledge.
You are not more worthy because of your healing.
You are not more sacred because of your path.

We are all students and mirrors. Each of us has something to remember. Something to unlearn. And something to offer—when we surrender the story of separation and come home to the breath, the moment, the heartbeat of truth pulsing in all beings.

So we ask…

• What if we dropped the need to be the most enlightened in the room?
• What if we softened the armor of superiority and chose humility instead?
• What if we allowed love to be unconditional—not just in theory, but in presence?

Not everyone is ready to walk that path.
But the ones who are… will be the ones who remember:

There is no hierarchy in wholeness.
There is only love—hidden beneath the shadows we dare to face.